Archive for April, 2009

WHERE EVERY MISS IS A HIT
April 29, 2009

Much like Lake Wobegon, ‘where every child is above average’, the Lusty Lady boasts that every one of its dancers is a hit. Now, to the statistically inclined, this claim seems dubious. How could ALL of these women be at the very top end of the popularity spectrum? Shouldn’t there be some under and over performers? The answer it would seem, is in the imprecision of the measurement. After all, any of these buxom beauties is more than capable of giving even the most libido-less patron his quarter’s worth. And hence their one way window is always ‘hit’.

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GET AN EXTENSION
April 20, 2009

Here we get a glimpse of Lusty Lady as Seattle malady. Imagine if you will, that Mrs. Passerby, after spending the entire weekend hunched over receipts and paychecks, has sent her dutiful spouse to the local tax collector, tax payment in tow. Unfortunately, along the way, Mr. Passerby succumbs to the suggestion of the city’s famous peep show marquee. Rather than deliver the cashier’s check to its intended destination, he swaps it for a sack of quarters and gets an extension. This outcome not only leaves Mrs. Passerby unsatisfied (on several levels), but it also burdens the state’s overworked extension handlers.

KEISTER BUNNIES
April 17, 2009

The Lusty Lady has always offered a good Friday service. Indeed, for years the passerby has skipped on the austere melodies of the cathedral and the hip rhythms of the Mars Hill chapel to play his organ at The Church of Our Lady. But this year, The Lady has apparently added an egg hunt as well. Of course, it promises to be a bit unorthodox. Instead of one giant rabbit, furtively hiding chocolate molds of itself for you to uncover, there will be a colony of ‘keister bunnies’, proudly displaying their uncovered bodies. So grab your shiniest quarter, put on your Easter finest, and see them in their Birthday best.

APRIL SHOW-HERS
April 7, 2009

As Spring arrives, pedestrians emerge to discover a message of hope on the Lusty Lady. Soon, winter will strip away her shroud of loose fitting fleece, and the women of Seattle’s blouses will blossom. As the temperature increases, buttons will unhook and necklines will burst, revealing varying degrees of the miracles encapsulated within. Sure we heard a similar promise last year. But SHOW-HERS has a gender clarification that SHOW-ERS clearly lacked. And that my friends, will make all the difference.