Archive for September, 2009

PINK IS THE CURE
September 29, 2009

Though she is best known for her revolutionary pay-as-you-peep business model, the Lusty Lady is far more than just a savvy exhibitionist. She’s also a philanthropist. In addition to the vast, undisclosed sums she gives to the Girl Scouts and the free services she provides to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, the Lady also donates her valuable marquee space to worthy charities. Here she raises awareness for the fight against breast cancer, appropriate considering how much she owes to those magnificent organs. It’s likewise appropriate that the pun pivots on a vulgar pseudo-euphemism for a woman’s vagina (pink). It reminds us that no matter which side of the one-way mirror we’re on, we’re all just fragile flesh and bone.

BUSINESS DOING PLEASURE
September 15, 2009

We’re so accustomed to the Lusty Lady using basic rhyme-based wordplay that we’ve forgotten all about the other rhetorical devices she has in her arsenal. Asyndeton, anaphora, alliteration: she knows them all intimately. But like the dancers she employs, the Lady also knows the proper role of decoration in seduction (by dance or by pun). For instance, bronzer, when used appropriately, can accentuate a girl’s cleavage, but when used simply for its own sake, distracts. Likewise anastrophe can transform a common saying like ‘Pleasure Doing Business’ into a saucy turn of phrase, or can result in ‘Lear King’. The Lusty Lady lesson here: No need to show off. Now if only this writer could learn it.

HUMP FEST
September 3, 2009

If the measurement of a bawdy pun is the amount of adult topics it can pack into as few words as possible, then this marquee is among the elite. Let’s tally them up. There is the skewed allusion to Hemp Fest, Seattle’s annual gathering of illicit cannabis plants. There is the blunt reference to screwing (preferably of a nubile Lusty Lady miss by an idealized version of yourself). And there is the playful foreshadowing of the upcoming HUMP film festival, a cornucopia of pornographic delights. Altogether, that amounts to an unheard of 1.3 taboos per word. And this means that the busy passerby only needs to scan two words to get his daily allowance of indecency. Now that’s peek efficiency.

PIRATES KEEP THEIR BOOTY HERE
September 3, 2009

Say what you will about the Lusty Lady’s not-so-squeaky-clean floors, but you must concede that her marquee is always the epitome of perfectionism. Last year the Lusty Lady recognized Seafair, Seattle’s annual celebration of maritime debauchery, with a saucy shout-out to herself — SEAFAIR PIRATES LOVE BOOTY. This phrase incorporated both a timely reference to Seafair and a timeless reference to the female buttocks.┬áThis year the Lady, obviously unsatisfied with her previous effort, enhanced the pun to also imply that the actual Seafair pirates, an alcoholic group of ex-silicon valley pirates, have spent all of their bullion quarters leering at her treasure chests.