Archive for January, 2010

WHERE EVERY MISS IS A HIT(2)
January 28, 2010

Since the Lusty Lady prefers her topless wordplay to be topical, we usually see this classic marquee in August, when the boys of summer are a few thousand hits deep into the baseball season. So to see this racy pun nowhere near a pennant race is a bit unexpected. We can only assume that the Lady is expressing her approval for the titillating off-season moves of new Mariner’s GM, Jack Zduriencik. She must believe that Chone Figgins’ fleet feet will revive a flaccid offense, and that Cliff Lee’s lively arm will finish the job. She is certainly an eternal optimist. Or is that optiMISS?

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KISS ME UNDER THE CAMELTOE
January 15, 2010

This pun actually dates back to December 17th, 2009, but we have been hesitant to post it because its authorship is in dispute. Although most scholars believe it to be composed by the Bardess of Belltown, there is a growing faction of the erotic wordplay community that questions its authenticity. Their doubt primarily stems from the pun’s uncharacteristic use of vulgarity, modern vernacular, and bizarre imagery. The detractors have put forward Showgirls as an alternative candidate for the pun’s author, but as the pro-Lusty Lady side has been quick to point out, this theory has its own nontrivial problems.

HAPPY NUDE YEAR
January 11, 2010

A simple Google search reveals that this pun is not a Lusty Lady original but just a cover of an English classic. The first instance of the pun dates back to 1654 when a Scottish sign writer, Richard Burns, used it to announce the reopening of the town bath, which had been closed during the Christmas plague season. Ironically, Burns was burned at the stake by angry Presbyterians who accused him of using ‘the black art of punnery’ to corrupt the minds of the town’s youth. Nowadays the pun is annually recycled by peep shows around the country who, in desperate need of lewd holiday wordplay, resort to mining the public domain.

SQUEEZINS GREETINGS
January 5, 2010

This is what’s known in the peep show industry as a ‘soft release’ — rather than issue a full press announcement when a new feature is made public, the establishment puts out a more subtle, semi-announcement, usually in the form of a pun. Couched in this pun is the exciting news that the Lusty Lady has finally mounted insulation gloves, much like the kind you would see in a nuclear power plant, in her peeping booths. These will allow the booth’s operator to perform any necessary groping tasks while still keeping the strippers protected from potential contaminants. Of course, being in beta, there are some issues to work out, especially concerning the misuse of the gloves as ‘gloves’.